Update

For anybody who may be curious, and actually reading this, I will not be updating my blog until after NaNoWriMo ends. I am so far behind, but I think I have a chance of catching up, which would make me a very happy girl! I will hopefully have a real update and real post sometime next week. I leave you with my picture for today, taken of my laptop with my story up, somewhere around 29,000 words. :) Unfortunately, I did blur the words out 'cos I am quite superstitious with my writing. Sorry about that!

See you later!

Hugs,
C

NaNoWriMo

I have been trying to write my NaNoWriMo novel, but I am failing. I'm just too tired. I will keep persevering though. I have a few ideas for parts to write and some free time to actually do it. I don't want to feel bad if I don't get it done this year, but there is this tiny voice in my head that won't let up with the criticism. Whenever I commit in any way to doing something, however small or big, I feel terrible if I don't follow through or do my absolute best. I am a bit of a perfectionist. Unfortunately, I am also human and I have failed quite a few times, just like everybody else. I try to learn from my mistakes and do better the next time. I always want to do much more than in reality I can. I still have a hard time accepting my limitations. I start projects, then find myself too tired or in too much pain to continue with them. I don't want to accept that there are things I can't do or finish. I am still in battle with that part of reality. I want to do as much as I can now, before I get too sick to do much at all. Life is too damn short, health is fleeting and I want to LIVE!

Hmmm, got a little carried away trying to motivate myself I think. I am going to make myself a cup of coffee and let the words flow. I am really looking forward to having a real chunk of time available to write. So far, all of the writing I have done has been in little snatches in the middle of doing something else. I am over 5,300 words. I am hoping I can double my word count and get myself over the 10,000 mark. Wish me luck!

My reward for finishing this small goal is a little bit of chocolate. That and going to bed happy about finally making some progress! :) Tomorrow I am going to try to make the same amount of progress with my holiday art journal. December is looming. I can't believe this month is half over! It actually freaks me out a bit. I am excited about Christmas, but I would like time to just slow down a little. I want to enjoy every minute.

My mom and I are going to the botanical gardens Wednesday. The weather will probably be quite chilly this time. Perfect for having hot chocolate afterwards. I have loads of pictures from the last two times we went, so I'll probably do a post about the gardens with many a picture. I'm looking forward to going through all of them. I think the botanical gardens might be my favorite place in Madison. I could literally go there every week. It makes me long for a house with a big garden. Oh, the inspiration!

Alrighty, I am going to start writing. Have a great night (or day) everyone!

Weekly Loves

I love window shopping. I just love going into a shop and admiring all of the different things. Clothing, papers, perfume, art, antiques, furniture, make-up, various collectibles, sometimes even groceries. Online window shopping is even easier for me because I can do it as often or as little as I want.

When I am working on a story, I really get into the characters. Usually it's the main character, sometimes supporting ones as well. For as far back as I can remember, I have "shopped" for my characters. Meaning, not literally usually, but I have picked out clothing that they would wear, how their bedroom might look, things they might collect. Depending on how long I am working on a story, it can get rather elaborate. Sometimes they like things I would never think to wear or buy, and it opens my eyes. Sometimes their style actually seeps into my own. For instance, I was never a big fan of the color pink. I actually hated it when I was a teenager. I really am not sure why. But now it's one of the background colors on this blog and I quite like it. This would never have been the case if it hadn't been for a story and a character I wrote who liked pink.

I used to do this shopping from catalogs and magazines, but the internet is so much more helpful. I have found shops I might never have heard of before and it's really changed the way I style my characters. It's definitely changed the way I find things I like for myself as well, though it's been a long time since I've had the resources to purchase anything. That's one of the nice things about shopping for characters. It satisfies my need to shop without me having to spend a single penny.

I do find many things I want, desperately. It's silly I know, to want something material so much. Believe me, if I had to choose, there are things I would like much more than a sweater or antique luggage, like friendship, health, not having to worry about everything so much. Shopping is frivolous, but it is also a treat, something fun that can make you happy. I love listening to music and checking out bunches of different online shops for an hour or two. Maybe getting inspired, writing a little. Enjoying a cup of tea and relaxing a bit.

I have started bookmarking things I love so much that I want to share them on my blog. I think it might be a weekly feature: Weekly Loves. I love seeing similar features on others' blogs, so I figured, why not do my own? It won't always be shops. It might be a new blog I love, an artist, a song. Whatever I discover from week to week that makes me so happy I can't keep it to myself.

Here is this week's:

1. This bracelet. I love everything about it. I especially love that little key.

2. These flannel pants. It's starting to get chilly here at night and these look so warm and comfy.  Plus, they're purple, one of my favorite colors.

3. This beautiful sweater. Speaking of warm! Now, it is not something that would ever be in my price range, but that doesn't stop me from admiring it. It is such a pretty shade. I bet it's super soft and cuddly.

4. This wristlet. Another item that will never, ever be in my price range, but it is still so pretty! I love that it's a box. I love the satin. I even love the pink-ness! :)

5. This brooch. It is so lovely! There are several other equally beautiful jewelry pieces in her shop, but this is my personal favorite. I can just see it pining a scarf or on a wool winter coat.

6. These scarves. Obviously, I had a really difficult time narrowing down my favorites. Oh my gosh, I love her stuff so much! I would probably purchase everything if I could. They are just too cute and adorable and pretty all at the same time. 

7 & 8. These tights & these tights. Oh my gosh! I am so in love. 

9. Top hats. Awesomeness! My great-great-great grandfather was known for wearing top hats (no, not Abraham Lincoln!), so whenever I see one I think of him. I know these are supposed to be Frosty The Snowman's, but no matter. I still love them!

10. My favorite of the week. Houndstooth is my favorite pattern ever! I get so excited when I see it. I have a houndstooth scarf already, and it's purple too, but it's not this shade. I am thinking of asking for this one for Christmas. 

Well, that is it for today. I will see you later this week! :)

365 Photo Project

I have been wanting to do a 365 photo project since I got my beloved red camera in June. When I was finally able to purchase an interface cable, to replace the one accidentally nicked by the cable guy back in June (I'd only had my camera for three weeks!), I began one. November 3rd, 2010. I was so happy and excited! I still am!

It's been eleven days now. I am starting to realize the commitment. It doesn't seem like a big thing to take a picture a day, but there have been a couple of days where I have felt so crappy and I just did not want to be bothered. I pushed myself though. I can only imagine how many times I am going to feel that way. It's so bizarre to think I'll end this next November, when everything is going to probably be different. I love that it's a real documentation of even the smallest things. It's so easy (for me) to want to take photos when I go out or when we're doing something big or exciting. It's entirely different when it's just a regular ol' day. A lot of times I don't think, hey, I should take a picture of this. Now, I am going to have to.

Last March I did a photo project of a Week In My Life, which I saw on Ali Edwards blog and got super excited about. On a side note, she is such an inspiration! I only had my camera phone to use, but I did it anyway. I feel really bad that I never finished doing the actual scrapbook, but I did document each day and I was proud of myself for that. Towards the end I kind of got dejected about it after I posted some pictures on my facebook and someone gave critiques that made me feel bad. I don't think she meant for me to feel bad, but I am such a super sensitive person and I kind of felt like she was attacking my decisions. I had only posted photos I thought were fun and some that I might use as profile pictures, but she thought I wasn't actually documenting what she thought I should. I wasn't going to spend the time uploading a bunch of photos of my meals and stuff, but I guess she thought I should have. Or I should have made an effort to do more.

I really wanted it to be like what my week is like. It is not usually exciting and I wasn't going to do a bunch of things I never do, like take a bath with a bunch of candles in our scary, horrible bath. There are day I barely can get out of bed, so even though that's depressing to document, I wanted to. I understood where she was coming from in a way, but I wasn't doing the project for anyone but myself and if I wanted to take twenty headshots of me one day, I figured why the hell not. Before I got my camera phone I had almost no adult pictures of myself, only ones from childhood. I did feel a bit narcissistic, but I also wanted to have some pictures of me in the scrapbook. I also took photos of my mom, which she kind of hated me for and tons of ones around the house. We went out on St. Patrick's Day too, so I got a lot from that day, but by then I was just like, Am I doing everything wrong?

Looking back, I am happy I did it. And one day I will finish the scrapbook! :) It made me realize that whatever I want to take a picture of should be what I want and no one else. So if any of the photos I post here bores anyone, please don't feel the need to tell me I am doing my project wrong. That is all I ask. If anyone has fun ideas for it, or thinks I could shoot something in a different way to make it look better, please tell me! I am still learning about my camera and consider myself in no way a photography expert. I just want to do something fun that I can look back on and be happy about!

Here are my photos of the past ten days:

I thought I'd keep my blog updated every week with the new ones. I am looking forward to where this year in pictures takes me!